...Commands is a new section hosting artist-curated playlists for artist-invented scenarios. To start us off, pop heartthrob Saint Torrente compiles his perfect New Year's Eve playlist and nominates our next victim.
LADY GAGA — BLACK JESUS † AMEN FASHION
This is a song about the young Lady Gaga moving downtown to become a superstar on the NYC scene. Take a leaf out of her book at ur NYE party and be less of a damn slob! It’s complex with a weird art title, bitch! Get ur jush!
EASYFUN — MONOPOLY (FEAT. NOONIE BAO)
Catch Noonie Bao singing about “wanting it all” while evoking and critiquing(?) capitalism on this fucking fierce track! NYE VIBE!
BREE RUNWAY - WHAT DO I TELL MY FRIENDS
Bree Runway says “I don’t wanna be a weak bitch anymore!” in one coy little dramatic phone call moment. The queen of the people. Quote Bree Runway every day in the new year, you need it!
N.E.R.D — LIGHTNING FIRE MAGIC PRAYER
Look, I like Pharrell, he makes unusual musical choices, looks 25 despite being heavily into his 40s. This Xmas my aunties had a discussion about his skincare regimen... LIGHTNING FIRE MAGIC PRAYER IS A COOL SONG!
MIGOS - MOTORSPORT (FEAT. NICKI MINAJ & CARDI B)
Is there a better way to bring in the New Year than to bask in the glow of Cardi B shining??? “One hit wonder” I hear you say? I think NAAAT! Shine this new year ok?
CHAIRLIFT - SHOW U OFF
Show off all ur friends! Look how gorgeous they are! Look how glad you are you partied with them instead of ur dumb families!
KANYE WEST - HOLD MY LIQOUR
Make sure to have a weird dramatic 2013 throwback hip hop moment at the NYE party. Make sure everyone screams the EHHH noise sample in the rap section! Make sure everyone screams “Bitch, I’m back out my coma!” all together! Don’t drink and drive!
M83 - DO IT, TRY IT
Do it this year! Try it this year! Get on that vegan hype! That coconut cheese isn’t that bad! Start working out! Hilly Fields is chill for runs! Frozen fruit is cheaper than fresh fruit!
ALDOUS HARDING - IMAGINING MY MAN
I put this song in the penultimate slot because I wanted us to all collectively “imagine” wink wink wink what we want out of our romantic lives in 2018... GET TO WORK! IMAGINE UR DREAM LOVERS! RELATING TO OTHER PEOPLE IS HARD!
CHARLI XCX - FEMMEBOT (feat. Dorian Electra, Mykki Blanco)
Engage in your post-human sexual fantasies this year, ok? (What I mean to say is, you should totally buy that vibrator you were thinking about getting!)
For the next playlist, I challenge Great Dad to make a 10 song playlist to score the “end of the world.” Open to all interpretations!
Thank you, you Saint.
Stream Saint Torrente’s playlist on Spotify:
Photograph by Imogen Williams.